Capitalism for All... Except Me

Gotta tell you, I've been trying not to write about this.

But, since our economic climate serves as such a potent petri dish for interesting perspectives -- and seeing as I'm frustrated with a scarcity of materiel -- I have to write about the following:

The absolutely ridiculous, shallow, ideologically schizophrenic, Me-First brand of "Populism" apparently sweeping across our country in these dire economic times.

Yes, I'm aware that this represents nothing unique or catastrophic; it's just the annoying result of the Right's current political strategy, the Left's inability to deal with it, and, in all, exemplifies the hypocritical, short term mentality most people employ when meandering through life. As such, it fits perfectly into the little ideological cubbyhole I've dug on this blog.

As you may recall, an earlier post of mine covered this populist groundswell whence it arrived with more steady handed, Libertarian overtones. At the time (Somewhere in August or September, if I recall correctly), I was intrigued by the possibility of a genuine Libertarian movement of sorts.

Well, not so lucky. Silly, naive, ideological me strikes again.

The proto-Libertarian reaction to the severity of our global recession has turned out to be nothing more than a standard angry mob. Nothing even worth sniffing at in the historical sense, just a bunch of jobless louts hoping to latch their helplessness and guilt onto others in the form of generic blame. There's practically no coherence to any of the expressed gripes -- aside from the fact that tea partying conservatives, pink coded progressives, and indolent independents are presently unemployed...

And the benefits they receive from their conspiratorial "Shadow Government" provides just enough to preserve their Internet access.

Now, I could rant all day about the many sorts of disagreeable morons one may encounter in our current politico-economic maelstrom. But I will instead describe one particularly cogent, ubiquitous aspect of the mess:

When the going gets tough -- I mean actually tough, not simply inconvenient -- the most professedly ardent Capitalists are the first people to demand what they would normally brand as Socialism, and the most open-minded Socialist types get rather nasty, brutish, and short.

For now though, the Hobbesian hypocrisy of the more Progressive types being routinely clear, I will discuss the Conservative/Independent reaction to our economic plight.

To keep the discussion from ranging off into the purely abstract, let's be clear on exactly who I'm talking about:

Try to remember the "America, love it or leave it!" kind of guy.

Bring to mind that one gal who wanted all those "damned lazy jerks" to get a job, because it's "all about individual effort and perseverance and desire and pulling yourself up by your own boot straps, like grandpa did."

Recall, if you will, Joe the Plumber, and the scores of willfully ignorant yokels who call themselves "Independents" to cover for the fact that they're simply in the market for the best political bullshit money can buy, sold by the best slick-haired Good Old Boy whose message most matches the emotional tenor of the day... anything but a solid principle, or anything to stave off the pesky peek functions of the human brain, or the inevitable need to speak coherently when taking a position with respect to someone who might potentially disagree with them.

I'm talking about the sort of folks who, when times are good for them -- and, as always, when discussing some other person's misfortune -- deliver a pompous diatribe about wasteful spending on social programs, the principled merits of individual effort, of personal responsibility, of competing to be the best, of playing the hand you are dealt to the best of your ability, and not complaining.

Now, you would expect that such "Proud American" types would be most predisposed to riding out the current economic storm, right? Just hunker down, right? Just sacrifice and get by with the thin hope for tomorrow, a la the "Great Generation" during the Great Depression.

Such proud, upright people certainly know it's a Capitalist system, and thus they are well aware that we are in a trough.

As they've spent a great deal of their time deriding "Communist China" or the "Damned Liberal Socialists" and such, surely they are aware that this trough, this recession, is perfectly normal. Regardless of their specific causes, recessions are a standard part of the Capitalist framework. Many argue that this "up and down" movement is a simple result of material reality -- things like "cause" and "effect", for example. This particular recession will be over in five or ten years, so I'm sure they understand that there's really nothing to worry about.

As regards bailouts and such, surely they would understand that, in a Capitalist system, only the Capital (i.e. "Wall Street") gets bailed out. Only Capital gets help, because Capitalism is about, well, Capital, not people.

Only Capital gets the help, because in Capitalism, people don't suffer; economies do.

People don't need help; economies do.

Sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, aunties and neighbors aren't actually unemployed. They are not really suffering. They may tell you they are, but they're just taking all of this the wrong way.

There's no need to make it personal, sheesh.

See, in Capitalism, people don't loose jobs; jobs are just "lost". It's all a simple matter of "Structural Adjustments" and ensuring "Market Synergy". See, we have these nice little phrases for states of economic unrest, for economic change as conceived in the Capitalist framework. We know what's going on.

It's all a part of the plan, and it will all be ok so long as we all work harder for lower wages. Not a thing to worry about!

We have "Synergy" and "Structural Adjustments" in the same economic moment. Can't get that in Socialism folks. The Yin and the Yang. Two for one. What a deal!

And in all, such recessions present an abundance of opportunity! Yeah, that's right. I know you ardent, "Proud American Capitalists" looooooooove you some opportunity.

So don't be upset that you don't have a job. Get out there, take on the world you patriotic dynamos! Hooray for Reagan Democrats and all their personal responsibility!

Not so fast. Nowadays, most of these "Proud American Capitalists" are finding that it's not so easy to pull one's self up by one's own boot straps -- even if you leave physics out of the equation.

But instead of noticing hard nosed, "American" perseverance, all I seem to hear is a panicked chorus of sobbing morons clamoring, "Where's my bailout? What about Main Street?"

What about it? You tell me, Mr./Ms. Capitalist.

Since you folks have so ardently upheld and so passionately expressed the tenants of America's Capitalist culture, I must say I am quite shocked at your position.

Hadn't you heard? Your bailout isn't coming!

Although, to be honest, I am not totally surprised by your (disingenuous) astonishment.

I am in fact appalled by the sheer audacity of your demand. You expect help in the form of goods and services from the very same "Big Government" which, when it helps anyone else somehow morphs into a giant, evil, Communist monster?

Of course, when people made similar demands before you crashed the party of the woefully downtrodden, you called those people whining, lazy, free-riding dolts who were trying to tear apart your society.

So now, what are you exactly?

This all reminds me of something I heard in a lecture a while back. Some political theorist in the 1900s said, to paraphrase, that Capitalism is "Socialism for the best Capitalists." Makes me wonder, with today's so-called Liberals and Conservatives in mind, whether or not the following is also true:

In Socialism, politics is a competition for the benefits of personal property; in Capitalism, politics is a competition for the benefits of the welfare state.

Mull that one over for a minute.

Oh, and before you Conservative/Independent types go, why don't you tell me how it tastes... your own medicine, that is.